CLASSIFIED — ORCHARD AUTHORITY

The Orchard Incident

Official documentation of The Orchard Incident. Scientists remain confused.

What Is a Frunji?

A Frunji isn't a fruit. A Frunji is a fruit that has reached maximum inconvenience. It doesn't attack people. It doesn't destroy cities. It simply makes every situation unnecessarily worse. Someone loses WiFi? A Frunji walked by. Your coffee spills? Probably a Frunji. Printer jams? Classic Frunji behavior.

The Rules

Every Frunji has one mission: Wake up angry. Stay angry. Confuse everyone. Leave. Repeat tomorrow. No disease. No curse. No apocalypse. They simply decided they had enough — enough smiling, enough becoming juice, enough ending up inside fruit salads.

The Collection

Every fruit reacts differently. Apple: constant disappointment. Banana: passive aggressive. Orange: shouting internally. Lemon: expected. Tomato: still arguing whether it's a fruit. Watermelon: mad because nobody finishes it. Grape: travels in gangs. Pineapple: already looks angry. Cherry: never comes alone.

FruitBehavior
AppleConstant disappointment
BananaPassive aggressive
OrangeShouting internally
LemonExpected
TomatoStill arguing if it's a fruit
WatermelonMad nobody finishes it
GrapeTravels in gangs
PineappleAlready looks angry
CherryNever comes alone

Their Biggest Enemy

Positivity. Nobody knows why. Whenever someone says "Everything happens for a reason," at least twelve Frunjis become angry simultaneously.

Religion

Frunjis don't believe in happiness. They believe happiness is suspicious.

Language

Frunjis never scream. They simply stare… until you apologize.

Science

Researchers attempted to measure Frunji Anger. The machine exploded. Research ended immediately.

History

Every unexplained inconvenience in human history has been quietly blamed on Frunjis. The missing left sock. The USB upside down three times. Stepping on LEGO. Autocorrect disasters. Burnt toast. Random 3AM thoughts. All classified as Fruit-related incidents.

Born ripe. Stayed mad.Too ripe. Too angry.Anger is organic.

Official Running Gags

  • Another confirmed Frunji incident.
  • The Orchard denies all allegations.
  • This fruit refuses to elaborate.
  • Scientists remain confused.
  • Agriculture has never recovered.
  • Certified Orchard Behavior.
  • Not edible. Not friendly.
  • Fruit management is investigating.
  • Stay away from emotionally unstable produce.
  • Official Orchard Report #247
14+Trait Layers

Headgear, goggles, tactical vests, slingshots, and more — each layer combines into a unique Frunji identity.

100%Illustrated Native

Every Frunji is drawn in bold cartoon line art. Thick outlines. Maximum attitude. What you see is what you claim.

TBAOrchard Capacity

Supply to be announced. Fixed, finite, and final — when the Orchard decides.